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Follies Extra: Chocolate Covered Bacon!
Stop the Presses! Hold the Phone!! Don’t Take Any Wooden Nickels!!!
(Wait a minute; that last one is decidedly odd-cliché-out, maybe. Oh well, I got a blog to publish here; run with it!)
Write this day down on your calendar, as it represents an Exclusive Find by the Chile Underground. A new food group has been invented, and you heard it here first! (Compared to the Trout Underground, I mean.)
This news is so big we just had to make a special report today, even though there’s a chance it’ll take something away from the ever-so-important Friday Food Follies posted earlier. (That, and it interrupted our nappie-pooh.) Our newshounds here at the Chile Underground have been scouring every nook and cranny of Al Gore’s new-fangled Electronic Superhighway, digging and scraping (but not scraping, exactly) for the most important news of the day.
Beijing Olympics? Blasé. Russia Invades Georgia? Too tame. Senator Edwards Extramarital Affair? Shoot, we knew there was somebody doing something. Somewhere. With hair like that, it just had to be true…
No, we go straight to the Most Important Stuff, as required by the mission statement of our Most Important Stuff Newshounds Group (MISNG, pronounced Missing, like some of the letters in our acronym).
What’s the new food category? Chocolate Covered Bacon, of course.
Can’t you just see it? Crisp, salted meaty greasiness, coated in smooth milk chocolate. Not only will it make your arteries hum as they harden, it’ll give you an immediate sugar and caffeine high that beats a double-can of Starbucks doubleshot Energy with a dexedrine chaser. Where else can you get salt, fat and sexual stimulant in one concentrated package? (Without going to you-know-who, I mean.)
I’m off to the Chile Underground Makin’ Bacon New Food Test Kitchens to whip up a test batch or six. I guess this means I’ll have to give up on my whipped cream coated Limburger experiments…
Enjoy the Meat, er, Heat!
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