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More Friday Follies IX: The Wake n’ Bacon Alarm Clock and Legal Weed
Table of Contents for More Follies
- More Friday Follies I: It’s Better On a Stick
- More Friday Follies II: Thumping Watermelons
- More Friday Follies III: Snake-Man Eats Whopper, and More…
- More Friday Follies IV: Hot Scooters
- More Friday Follies V: Beer, Beer, Beer!
- More Friday Follies VI: McDonald’s In the News
- More Friday Follies VII: Vice Girls to Spice Girls?
- More Friday Follies VIII: WTO Goes Bananas, Eggs in the Air, and Carl’s All-Day Breakfast
- More Friday Follies IX: The Wake n’ Bacon Alarm Clock and Legal Weed
- More Friday Follies X: Beer Makes You Attractive, and Other Soggy Tales
- More Friday Follies XI: The Post-Birthday Edition
- More Friday Follies XII: Food for Potty Mouths
It’s not about chiles, but arguably it’s about food. The latest evidence that mankind is indeed evolving to greatness is here! Meet the Wake n’ Bacon Alarm Clock, coming to a bedroom near you soon. Imagine: You’re lying there, dreaming about flying on the wing of a biplane, or giving that big sales presentation while wearing no pants, and then this wonderful aroma intrudes and rescues you. You wonder how anything could smell so good, especially since the last time your spouse cooked breakfast for you she treated you like a god, showering you with burnt offerings.
Then the alarm goes off and you wake up. But wait! The smell’s still there! And sticking out of your clock is an inviting, mostly-crisp, salty-good meat strip. Or two. Or three!
You better be quick, or the spouse or the dog (or even the cat, if your is like mine) will be off with the grease-dripping goodness and you’ll start another day just like all the rest: Grumpy.
Oh, and if you’re a condemned confirmed chilihead, I bet you can roast a chile or two in there and get your day rolling early! What’s more, the dog won’t fight you for them. (At least my dog doesn’t.)
(Thanks to TC at the Trout Underground for uncovering this combination culinary and technoligical advance. Next time, I get the scoop, okay?)
Beer; that’s food, right? Nothing more American than beer! So when Mt. Shasta Brewery got crosswise with the Feds, it was our basic way of life under attack. By those evil Revenooers too! All because they said “Try Legal Weed” on their bottlecaps.
You see, Weed is a town in Northern California. (You know, that state north of the state of Southern California, who they sometimes team up with? Well, maybe you have to be there.) Mt. Shasta is nearby; the mountain, the town, the resort AND the brewery. Anyways, Mr. Dillman decided to have a nice play on words, what with the several meanings of “weed.” And the Feds, already suspicious of anybody making ale in California, raided the brewery and made off with all his bottlecaps.
Well, it’s all settled now, and Mt. Shasta Brewery can use the caps. They’re friends now, smiling and shaking hands; at least in the press release pictures. Me, I’d hide a whole sack of seed bottlecaps, just in case…
Enjoy the (Fresh-Brewed) Heat!
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