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Hellishly Good Hot Dogs
Enough with the fancy food already! Let’s talk hot dogs, that versatile (and some could argue, singularly American) toob steak we all love…
Oh yes, we do take our dogs seriously. Where else can you find competitive eating events like Nathan’s on Fourth of July? (We’re big-hearted about this, though; we even let Japanese competitors try.) And what kid didn’t learn the Oscar Mayer jingle as a kid? Or drool over the possibility of a ride in the Wienermobile?
We enjoy hot dogs at baseball games; what’s more American than that? We buy them from street vendors in Chicago; we grill’em at tailgaters before football games; we munch them in the millions at amusement parks and boardwalks. They even find their way into the larder for fishing trips. (Warning: that last link is not for the faint of heart, or those with already-advanced atherosclerosis.)
Unfortunately, the dog has gotten a bad rap recently, on the nutrition front mostly. Okay, so they’re mostly fat calories, even the good ones. Whaddayawant, carrots and celery on a bun? It’s a DOG, for Crissakes. (See? You went and pushed one of my buttons again.) Feed your kids the good stuff most of the time, but don’t deny them the one true comfort food for the under-six crowd! (Okay, there’s two, but Mac ‘n’ Cheese is too gooey to ride in a bun for long.)
You might feed them turkey dogs, but then I’d be worried about other serious anti-social behaviors kicking in once they hit puberty. And whatever you do, don’t feed them these; I’m sure they’re a Communist plot…
Now that you’re all growed up, I bet you have given up on hot dogs, mostly. Well, here’s a way to fix hot dogs that’ll have you back with the program soon:
These are tasty, grownup-style food, with a Real Zing. One redeeming feature: You won’t be worrying about the calories from the hot dog! Yes, we here at the Chile Underground Nutritional Camouflage Kitchens (ChUNCK for short) have only your best interests at heart, so we work extra-hard to provide you escape and denial alternative interpretations of nutritional content.
I’m sure you’ll sleep better now. You don’t have to thank me. Really. (The donation button’s on the left sidebar…)
Enjoy the (Traditional American) Heat!
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