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More Friday Follies XI: The Post-Birthday Edition

Choosing

You want to make good nutrition choices for you and your family. It’s hard, though, with busy lives and the information bombardment we suffer each day. Especially tough to train kids to eat right in the few minutes contact you get with them each day.

Well, fear not! The Chile Undergound Video Game Nutritional Content Research Lab has found a solution for you. Of sorts.

Grand Theft Auto has just released its new video game, GTA San Andreas. In it you have to run around doing things, like staying alive. Okay, that sounds like most every other first-person shooter your teens play.

But this one is entirely different! To succeed in GTA San Andreas you also have to eat right and work out at the gym, or you get fat and slow. And then dead. Usually from acute lead poisoning.

As the TV marketers say, “But Wait! There’s More!” This game not only teaches nutrition and fitness choices, it also instructs advanced carjacking skills. And if your kid’s trigger finger is tired, there are some sex technique clips to enjoy. Rested, they can run out on another crime spree, and you can rest assured they know how to manage their diet.

When I grew up, it was sex, drugs and rock-and-roll. Kids these days, eh? Besides, if Hillary’s got her dander up about it, can it really be all that bad?

Enjoy the (Sleazy) Heat!

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