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Hot Hot Hot Fourth!


Yessir, folks, it was hot… (How hot was it?)

  • The cows and goats were taking turns waterboarding each other.
  • The chickens were laying hard-boiled eggs.
  • We discovered that asphalt has a liquid state.
  • The trees were whistling for the dogs.
  • All the water spigots were giving boiling water.
  • We had to put sunscreen on the front porch.

We cooked our steaks mediuim-rare by just threatening to put them on the grill…

That last one is almost true. It was 108 at the Ranch House at 5 PM, so we waited until after dark to fix Fourth of July dinner. The steaks were thawed; that took about 5 minutes just setting them out on the countertop. My wife went out to fire up the grill, and she came in madder than heck, accusing me of already preheating the dang thing. Seems she burned her fingers on the starter knob. So I had to get an oven mitt and go out and flame on the barbie. I set it to its lowest setting, which helped it cool down quite a bit. It took about three minutes per side to get medium-rare steaks. They were 1.5 inches thick too!

As for the baked potatoes, we just laid them out on the back porch in the shade and waited while the steaks cooked. Nearly overcooked them that way, though!

And did I mention it’s dry? Shoot, it’s so dry…

  • The city park has closed two lanes of the swimming pool.
  • The Texas Fish and Game Commission is spraying catfish for ticks.
  • The birds are building their nests out of barbed wire.
  • And the Baptists are sprinkling, the Methodists are spitting, and the Catholics are giving rain checks…

Enjoy the (Devilishly Hot and Dry) Heat!

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