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This Just In: Burger King Promos Signal End of Civilization As We Know It

Windows 7 Whopper

Two recent Burger King promotions are clear portents of dire events ahead, maybe even the end of Western Civilization. Surely they’re more indicative of disastrous circumstances than more widely known and followed barometers of doom, such as the teachings of Nostradamus, the rise of global warming or the failure of Tom Delay on Dancing With the Stars

Burger King offered a free hamburger to Facebook users if they would only delete ten of their friends. Of course, Burger King then sent a message to these unfortunate ex-friends to rub it in to tell them that they were worth less than a hamburger. A tenth of a hamburger, to be numerically correct. This publicity campaign led to the immediate death of over 230,000 linkups on Facebook before the program was pulled for violating Facebook policies. What policy, you ask? Well, I’m not sure, exactly; maybe for being too successful? I know it certainly helped me clean up my page although BK wouldn’t give me the 34 sandwiches I earned.

Even more disturbing, Burger King has teamed up with the devil himself Microsoft to promote the release of the new and terribly overpriced operating system, Windows 7. (Can you spell “unholy alliance” ?) To add extreme insult to severe injury, this American fast food emporium isn’t even offering the promo in the States! Only Japan. What’s the offer? A seven-patty hamburger called the Windows 7 Whopper for a mere 777 yen! That’s nearly two pounds of flame-broiled protein between the buns, for less than ten bucks. You have to be one of the first thirty each day, at each BK outlet, to get this “attractive” price; otherwise it’s closer to 1500 yen for the belly-busting sandwich. The campaign runs for only a week too. (Thank goodness it’s only fourteen hours by air to Tokyo from here or I’d miss out.)

If you can’t fathom the threats to social order not to mention good taste in these disturbing novel promotions, then I bet you’re one of those people whose head can spin completely around on your shoulders as clueless as the rest of us…

Enjoy the (Flame-Broiled Foolishness) Heat!

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2 comments to This Just In: Burger King Promos Signal End of Civilization As We Know It

  • Fair prognosis. Audrey saw this photo and said “gross…nasty.” I’m still laughing. Although the burger only runs 777 yen, the post-prandial heart transplant required after downing this monstrosity is probably about 7,777,777 yen.

    • Daniel (and Audrey): Where’d you get the discount heart? [big grin] Yeah, I saw that and couldn’t envision eating one, or even sharing it with a whole family. And I love hamburgers! Besides, where’s the jalapeƱo peppers? They put enough of those on there, I might give it a go…

      Thanks for stopping by! I hope your travels are safe and entertaining.