Okay folks, here’s how it is. I’m leaving you. Tomorrow. Yep, heading out; taking that old advice about “Go South, Young Man!” (I got that right, yes?) And no, it has nothing to do with any new warrants. Or that dapper fellow and his two really big, scowly friends who want their money back. (I told them it wasn’t a loan I wanted, it was investment money. And sometimes investments don’t work out, right? Especially ones involving ponies. I’m sure they’ll really understand, once I get a chance to explain.)
Anyway, I’m going to (location redacted to protect the witness) and hide out, er, write my memoirs. That’s it! Write! Only, I’ll be working on the NaNoWriMo Challenge once again instead. If you are too lazy to visit their website and learn what NaNoWriMo is want the short version, NNWM is a nationwide, social-style effort involving writing a novel of at least 50,000 words in only thirty days. It’s my fourth year, and hopefully my third time to complete the challenge. (The one time I missed, the dog ate my CD. That’s my story.) The “social style” comes about because, while each person is writing their own novel individually, there is a lot of support given through Forums, how-to guidance, and lots of pep talks. There are “writing jams” and lots of other things for writers to do to keep their motivation up so they can finish. NNWM even have Internet radio going during November, which is always the challenge month.
So, I won’t be posting anything earth-shattering here this month which is good, a shattered earth isn’t a great place to live. No big travel documentaries, no massive collections of recipes you can use for Thanksgiving; nothing much, in fact. (Okay, Tom; enough with the “how’s that news?” side commentary. I know where that dilapidated old fixer-upper you live in is located, and I’ve got two brothers in the construction game; I could call them and have them get their friends out there to slow things down on that remodel of yours. You wouldn’t want the divine Miss M to continue sleeping with Wally, would you?) I will stop in occasionally and see how things are going, maybe give an update or two. If I’m really motivated I may post some recipes from my dusty old collection. Just don’t expect too much, okay?
I can’t tell you where I’ll be because the Witness Protection folks won’t let me, except to say it’s got no TV, no cable, no satellite; the radio doesn’t work; cell phones don’t connect out this far. No heat, no air conditioning, no cooking range, and the firewood’s all gone. There’s no pool, no dancing girls, not even a cheap bottle of hootch. We’ll be so far out in the boonies that the squirrels haven’t seen a man before, so they won’t be afraid of us. Just three lazy cats, an even lazier dog, a field full of vicious, killer sand burrs to keep everybody else away, and an overbearing jailer my darling spouse. It’s a three mile walk, one way, uphill, into the wind and through the snow, to get to any place with a net connection. But I’ll make the trek regularly, dear readers, to escape terminal boredom and Paula’s cooking be sure you get your daily dose of the Chile Underground. (Gotta have it, I know.)
It’s tough, but it’s the least I can do to earn your ongoing support…
Enjoy the (Fiction Writing Madness) Heat!
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