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Gobble, Gobble! The Big Feast Day is Finally Here…

Turkey

Question: Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?

Don’t think about it too much, now; you might get a painful brain sprain. You wouldn’t want me to have that on my conscience during the Holidays, would you? Good. Besides, the answer’s pretty obvious. (I hope.)

Big Turkey SandwichNow that we’ve got that out of the way, here’s wishing you a great Thanksgiving Day, with exactly the feast you want. I know you can’t always choose your family, and even most of the in-laws came pre-attached to your spouse (and I hope you’ve made as great choice as my wifey did; it’s one of the few choices you really get to live with). You CAN choose what to eat, though. Me, I prefer white-meat turkey, some nice ham, Brussels sprouts (okay, a fella’s allowed one odd quirk), plenty of stomped taters with mushroom gravy, freshly-made cranberry sauce (not that icky canned, jelly stuff), maybe some fruit salad, and pie for dessert.

I only eat three kinds of pie, of course. Hot, cold, and more. My favorite’s cherry. I have been known to force pumpkin down, though. Or apple; never more than three slices of that, though, it’s too filling.

What did the mother turkey say to her misbehaving son? “If your father could see you now, he’d roll over in his gravy!”

There are several things you might hear, this Autumn Feast day, that you’ll have to think over a bit. For instance, if you’re walking past the kitchen door and you hear your mom tell your spouse, “Just reach in and grab the giblets,” you don’t need to panic. (Not over THAT, at least.) Ditto if you hear, “It must be broken because when I push on the tip nothing squirts out!” just offer your assistance. To fix the turkey baster, I mean.

If your college-age daughter is heard to holler, “It’s CoolWhip Time!” and you see her running by with a Twister game in her hands, not to worry; it just means dessert is served. “I’m in the mood for a little dark meat” isn’t racist, this time of year and in the proper setting. And when Uncle Billy Bob says, “If I don’t unbutton my pants, I am going to burst!” he’s just thanking the cook the best way he knows how.

So go enjoy food, family, and football; I plan to. No NaNoWriMo Scorecard today (although I DID validate my win at NaNoWriMo!); I’ll have an update tomorrow, when I think I may finally slaughter the fatted Impossopotamus…

Enjoy the (Feastivities) Heat!

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