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Friday Follies (Sort Of): “Can I Get Meth With That?”

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In a bid to give “fast food” a whole new meaning, a manager at a Sonic drive-in recently cooked up a lot more than an Ex-Long Chili Cheese Coney with Tater Tots. You see, he was also cooking up methamphetamines. On store property, in the restaurant’s equipment. According to the Associated Press,

Police arrived at the Cape Girardeau, Mo., Sonic drive-in, about 115 miles south of Saint Louis, shortly before 2 a.m. on Thursday to discover 27-year-old Dennie L. Bratcher allegedly attempting to whip up a batch of meth in the restaurant…

“The management of the drive-in is fully cooperating with the police investigation into this incident,” Woodworth says. “Because this is a criminal matter, we are unable to discuss the situation to avoid possibly interfering with the ongoing police investigation. This is a very unpleasant situation and we regret the effect this may have had on our employees or our loyal customers.”

Let’s be absolutely clear here: The Underground doesn’t condone the production of illegal drugs, nor their distribution and consumption. We’re really not even poking fun (well, not much, anyways) at one of our favorite hamburger emporia. But you must admit, Mr. Bratcher must have some kind of cojones to even consider attempting what he’s alleged to have tried. It may not be funny ha-ha, but it sure is funny-odd.

The whole store is being cleaned out and everything tossed away to assure that no remnants of the drug or its chemical precursors remain on the premises. Making meth can be a most hazardous undertaking, in spite of its reported ease of manufacture. I sure hope they don’t forget anything in their housecleaning, or some unsuspecting patrons could become as speedy as, well, Sonic the Hedgehog

Enjoy the (Bizarre Fast Food Ingredient) Heat!

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