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MOED: Tactical Bacon for Your Stocking

Tactical Bacon

The Research Elves at the Chile Underground are sleeping off their latest foray into hallucinogenesis have dug around and found a Most Important Item for you to consider. It’s well within the specific parameters that delineate the wonderful event that is the Month of Eating Dangerously; namely, whatever we say they are.

The item in question is Tactical Bacon, a wonderful idea that I wish I’d come up with, so I’d be rich. Indeed, it’s so wonderful that I think you need to get online Right Now and order a case! Every well-stocked bunker should have some. I know all my separatist buddies in Texas are bound to have a huge stash of it, right next to their boxes of Bacon Salt. After all, if you’re going to survive the end of Civilization as We Know It, you might as well do it in style! And this stuff is so stylish it lasts for ten years or more. All you need is a good hacksaw or riding jackhammer to get into it. Yes sirree, Tac Bac is something no self-respecting family man would be caught without.

So order up a bunch for your Christmas stocking. Do it now! As a last resort, you can use it to “swine and dine” your lovely spouse, as you hide out from the law in your bomb shelter. I’ll never tell (the authorities where you are)…

Enjoy the (Bacony Canned) Heat!

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