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Friday Follies: Maybe the Birth of a McDonalds Adult Beverage (or How You Don't Need to Grow Up, Ever)

McNuggetini

In an attempt to catch up on some stuff that’s now only a year old bring you the latest in life-changing, fast-food news, we share with you an article recently shown in the new, improved Slashfood. It seems that a couple of budding young mixologist wannabes have “invented” (I’m sure that word is completely inadequate to explain their alcohol-soaked delusions) a new drink: The McNuggetini. The “drink” combines “dinner, dessert and booze, in one chalice of multitasking.” The inventors, Alie Ward and Georgia Hardstark, claim this concoction is their most famous. They give no indication of what’s in second place; which is good for everybody’s sanity, I’m sure.

The McNuggetini combines a chocolate shake, barbeque sauce (on the rim), and vanilla vodka. That’s certainly three of my favorite liquid flavors! So where’s the McNugget part come in? Where’s the promised dinner? Where’s the beef? (Oops, wrong fast food emporium.) Well, they provide the meat garnish, of course! So explore your inner glutton and whip up a pitcher or two for your next Holiday party. Especially if the only attendees you expect are the dreaded in-laws. I can almost guarantee you’ll have a quiet Christmas season next year. Shoot, this year too, if you get right on this one! You can even leave one under the tree for ol’ Saint Nick, if you’re tired of receiving gifts.

On a different note, the Underground Elves in charge of the Month of Living Dangerously have found an even more bizarre meal for your consideration. (After the McNuggetini, “bizarre” may have a whole new meaning.) Indeed, this item is a true double-whammy: A report on a scrumptious, new 30,000 calorie sandwich, AND a bonus link to a website that glamorizes gluttony! How can you resist an offer like that, eh? Presenting: The New Internet Porn. The website is This is Why You’re Fat. There’s plenty of juicy (and I mean, Juicy) photos on there, like the Icingcano, the Double Coronary Burger, Deviled Corndogs (actually sounds good, somehow), and my new favorite dessert, the Smortuary: marshmallows, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, S’mores Pop-Tarts and chocolate sauce. And the pièce de résistance: The 20,000 30,000 Calorie Sandwich. (Just in case you don’t think this is food porn, consider the Porkgasm.)

We here at the Underground realize that you’ve stuck with us through thick and thin, including slaw dogs and the world’s biggest hamburger; so why not this stuff, right? So go overdose on some good, clean food porn (it’s not bad for you like sex, which will make you go blind), and let me know how that quintuple bypass comes out…

Enjoy the (Truly Weird Eats) Heat!

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