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Happy Mother’s Day! Some Lighter Fare for You


Dateline, Lebanon: The Israeli-Lebanese War took another nasty turn yesterday, with an escalation of more than double the previous situation. No, I don’t mean the usual war, with ordinance flying around in large, energetic chunks. This is much more troubling, as it involves food. A group of over 300 Lebanese chefs converted eight tons of boiled chickpeas into over eleven tons of hummus. The additional ingredients included two tons of tahini and nearly two tons of lemon juice. In an attempt to demonstrate the low-fat status of hummus, only about twenty gallons of olive oil was used.

This jumbo serving, measuring about 20 feet across, is more than double (actually, almost triple!) the Israeli’s recent shot in January. Their piddling little four-ton edition was a major escalation in itself, but now things are really getting out of hand. The Israelis have vowed a massive reprisal, as soon as they can get one of those mammoth pans to serve it all in.

Let it be known that both sides are at risk of wimping out, as their versions don’t include any red chile powder. (I’m not saying, I’m just saying…)


In other news, the new off-off-Broadway musical, “Hot Dogs,” will be staged in the late summer. (A reading of the play will be performed on stage on May 10.) This musical is unique in the annals of performance art, as it involves competitive eating. Yes, the previously-spurned combination of gorging and combat has come of age with this thespian production. Competitive eating has grown enormously (was that a pun?) in popularity the past few years. Where the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest may have been the only such even worth mentioning a short while back, now there’s a whole circuit of events, as well as TV shows, websites and even video games.

So the inevitable next step must be a play.

Make your plans to take Mom to see this hit in a couple of months! Start now, there won’t be enough plane seats or hotel rooms left once the word gets around. And with this notice going up on the Chile Underground, believe me, The Word is Out

Enjoy the (Mother’s Day Special) Heat!

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