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Friday Follies: Sandwiches in Cans (And We're Not Talking Beer)


All my life I’ve known what the term “canned sandwich” means. Beer. In cans. I even invented a monetary unit, called the COB, that made use of that item: The Case of Beer. Standardized on Old Milwaukee. My whole college career, my budget was calculated in COBs. You may laugh, but it surely kept me focused on what mattered.

Now I see there’s a “competitor” for the term “canned sandwich.” An actual canned sandwich! According to the New York Times, the inventor, Tim Kirkland, plans to have the product in general production this fall. No word on whether the items picutred above are in beta testing somewhere. (If I had to guess, they’re being foisted off on some poor, unsuspecting daycare centers somewhere. Or maybe graduate schools; which are frighteningly similar.)

I can hardly wait.

Besides, it’s not clear that Mr. Kirkland can now meet his goal. You see, the main investment manager for the project is likely going to jail for running a ponzi scheme. He was taking real estate investment money and putting it elsewhere, like, well, Candwich. Seems he took his investors for all but $9 million of $175 million originally placed in management.

No matter how you say it, that’s a LOT of COBs…

In other news, in this case related to a recent Follies post on sandwiches and jaw injuries, Taiwanese dentists have called for a ban on oversized hamburgers. It seems they’re getting an alarming number of jaw injuries from consuming the big, beefy jaw-busting burgers. Maybe American-sized eats just aren’t appropriate for our smaller-mouthed cousins across the Big Pond?

I guess that poor Which Wich fellow can now start a support group…

Enjoy the (Long Shelf Life) Heat!

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