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More Bachelor Brigade Grub: Grilled Hamburgers Save the Day

Big Burger

It was a longer day than normal today at the ol’ lab. I got home I didn’t really feel like taking much time to fix dinner. Shoot, I was so tired I even considered not firing up the grill. Then I remembered that a) we don’t have a range in the Barracks, and b) the other tools I have for cooking are actually a lot more trouble to use; especially to clean.

Tall BurgerOh well. Going to bed hungry actually sounded like a reasonable idea.

Deric and Kai were complaining that they were nearing death from starvation. They couldn’t believe I had actually come home nearly an hour later than usual. What really scared them, though, is the thought that I might actually Not Cook Dinner . Fend for themselves? Figure out What was worse, the fire they hand been nursing all week was too smoky at that time, and they were out of S’mores fixings. Deric wanted to know if you could cook Granola bars on a stick, like marshmallows. They finally convinced me I had to do something.

Then I remembered I had fresh ground beef in the fridge. Hamburgers! Fast to fix, tasty to eat. I said how ’bout it, and the cheers were deafening. (Scared one of the new kittens so bad I don’t think we’ll see him for a week.) So we brushed off the previous day’s grill char and got going.

A pound of ground round made three perfect patties. Plenty of special (that is, secret recipe; so secret we can’t tell you even if you torture us) seasonings and spices on both sides. Wouldn’t want to have meat that only tastes good on one side, would we? Texas-sized, sesame seed-covered buns. Fresh tomatoes, right out of the garden. Crunchy-crisp Claussen pickles, the extra-garlicky ones. Lettuce too (remember, I was told how much I’d be bashed if I didn’t feed the boys healthy promised my wife to fix balanced meals for the Bachelor Bunch), just in case. Sliced onion. Spicy mayo. Brown mustard. Everything was in perfect readiness; ambrosia couldn’t be too far away.

The only real problem was, it was better than I predicted.

How’s that a problem, exactly? Well, after the first round, there wasn’t anything left! And the pineapple was all gone too, so there was no way to make a nice topping for the Blue Bell. It was all I could do to choke that stuff down without pineapple sauce, but I managed. The other two were so disappointed that I hadn’t fixed enough, they simply crawled away to sleep it off.

Next time I’ll make more burgers, or add bacon or parsley or something…

Enjoy the (Big, Bold Burgers) Heat!

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