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Friday Follies: Weirdest Snacks, Dumb (and Hungry) Burglars, and Why Google is Like Bananas

This entry is part of a series, Follies 2011»

Banana Bunch

A recent report on NewsMax describes the five weirdest snacks you can eat. Okay, I can see fried mayflies as odd; then again, some places eat all sorts of insects. (Just not in Texas, of course.) Eel soda sounds pretty disgusting too. Meat-flavored ice cream actually doesn’t sound that bad, especially if the meat is bacon. The rest don’t seem that strange; you decide, though.

In other news, a pair of burglars broke into a house where the family was away on vacation; they knew they had plenty of time. They trashed the joint looking for goodies, and eventually they found the family safe. With visions of megabucks dancing in their heads, they set about breaking into the strongbox. One thing led to another, and they couldn’t get in. The safe weighed 700 lbs, so there wasn’t any way they could move it, either. They grabbed some food from the pantry and settled in for the duration. Several snacks and sodas later, not to mention whacking on the safe with a fire axe, and they still hadn’t conquered the stingy box. So they gave up and left, carting off their other plunder.

The family returned to find their house in a shambles, but the sturdy safe was still there, closed. Too bad there wasn’t anything in it…

Room Safe

Finally, Felix Salmon of Reuters asks the vitally important question, the one you’ve all been wanting to ask (but were too afraid, maybe): How is Google like bananas? Felix then proceeds to burn a lot of column inches on the issues surrounding monocultures in agriculture, and how we’re about to lose yet another banana variety to a killer fungus. Yes, it’s a fruit-eating version of athlete’s foot, and nobody’s figured out how to stop it.

Anyways, Felix closes out with the thought that Google search is also a monoculture, on the Web. One algorithm, and many thousands of SEO sites trying to game the system so they’ll show up on the top of the first page. He maintains that what we get from this is a lot of “SEO Spam” instead of the info we search for. Rather like opening a banana, and finding only fungus…

Enjoy the (New Year’s First Follies) Heat!

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Entries in this series:
  1. Friday Follies: Weirdest Snacks, Dumb (and Hungry) Burglars, and Why Google is Like Bananas
  2. Friday Follies: Cakes That Make You Laugh (Maybe), and Which Food Best Represents Your State
  3. Friday Follies: Green Bugs to Replace Red Meat On Your Plate?
  4. Friday Follies: How to Pour a Beer Every Second (Almost)
  5. How Beer Saved the World (and, You Heard It Here First!)
  6. Friday Follies: Become a Professional Beer Expert (And You Thought All You Had to Do Was Drink)
  7. What's for Dinner Gets Automated, In a Weird Sort of Way
  8. Follies Extra: Is That a Chile Pepper On Your Plate, or Are You Just Happy to See Me?
  9. Friday Follies: Oh, You Wanted the Mayo On the Side, Eh?
  10. Friday Follies: Eating Like a Monk During Lent
  11. Friday Follies: O No, You Got a Spork in the Salad Shooter!
  12. Friday Follies: Food Network Now Wants to Play Ball
  13. Friday Follies: Chile Underground Voted Number One Food Blog
  14. Friday Follies: Beer, It's What's for Breakfast
  15. Friday Follies: The End of the World is Nigh, and Bacon is to Blame
  16. Virtual Reality Gives “Cookie Monster” a Whole New Meaning
  17. Friday Follies: Do-It-Yourself Egg Art, and That’s No Yolk
  18. Burger Follies: A Fight Over Killer Burgers, In-N-Out in Texas, and Burger America Goes Second Edition
  19. Friday Follies: Once I Saw These, I Didn’t Stand a Ghost of a Chance…
  20. Friday Follies: Peppers Help Preggers to Pop
  21. Follies: Barbeque That Goes Where You Go, All Day Long
  22. Follies: How to Carry Your Liquor, and Don’t Do’s at the Bar
  23. Going to China for the Aquatics Championships? Don’t Eat the Pork…
  24. Zesty Chili Doesn’t Make Lingerie More Exciting for One Woman
  25. Follies: Edible Clay, Eu de Play-Doh, and a Website You Can’t Live Without
  26. Important News Concerning Two Essential Food Groups: Beer and Hamburgers
  27. Follies Extra: A Multitude of Uses for Beer (Besides Drinking)
  28. Chocolate’s Better’n Carrots, But Is Miracle Whip Really Good for Your Love Life?
  29. Who Says Lutherans Don’t Know How to Party? Watch This…
  30. There’s Something Big Stirring at UMass…
  31. Salsa Proves Too Hot for Owner; He’s Smoked…
  32. Would You Like Some Al Yankovic With That Veal Cordon Bleu? And Other Food-Music News
  33. A Salmagundi of Savory Silliness
  34. Doritos Situation Grave, and (Lust for) Alcohol Makes You Stupid
  35. “A Bear Walked Into a Grocery…” And It’s No Joke…
  36. French Ban Ketchup? This Means War! Again…
  37. Armadillo as Weapon, Bar Fun With Guns, and Another Humongous Burger
  38. Pizza as Vegetable? Okay; Why Not Chocolate, or Cheez Whiz, or Kool Whip, or …
  39. A Meal That Makes You Glad You Have Leftovers From Thanksgiving
  40. Why This May Be the Last Christmas Ever
  41. If You’re Going Out Into the Snow, Take Your Beer Along (Lots of It)
  42. No Eat Strong Pig, Eat Monster Gummy Bear Instead
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