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It’s Way Too Cold Here in Texas

Ice Tree

How cold is it here? It’s so cold:

  • Starbucks is serving coffee on a stick.
  • We’ve taken everything out of the freezer so we’ll have someplace warm to sleep tonight.
  • Our three cats and Sonia the Red Golden are hitchhiking south for the winter.
  • The power companies are sending letters of condolence with their bills.
  • Opticians are giving away free ice scrapers with each pair of glasses.
  • I’ve given up on cleaning house; now I’m simply defrosting it.
  • I can’t take my dentures out and put them on the bedside table; they chatter so loudly we can’t sleep.
  • Anybody with the sniffles is sucking on Nyquil popsicles.
  • Jessica Alba (local superstar) has been downgraded from “hot” to “tepid.”
  • The politicians downtown (the State Legislature is in session) are keeping their hands in their own pockets.

We tried to thaw out pipes this evening, without luck. We can’t get enough heat to the suckers. A typical problem with houses here in central Texas, where we don’t ever hope to see what we’re currently seeing in the way of Arctic cold. If we have extended temperatures below 20 F, pipes freeze up. Too little insulation, and the pipes run up outside walls and in the attic. Well, it got us. Again. (The last time was 1990.)

If we’re lucky, everything will hold together for another 48 hours, and we’ll get back to above-freezing temperatures. Before that, though, they’re predicting snow. Up to three inches accumulation; a major blizzard for us. (Okay, we’re not the Midwest or Northeast.)

Trying to get the pipes flowing worked up a major appetite. Good thing I had dinner all planned out and in the oven. A pork loin roast with a zesty rub, with roasted red potatoes. Limas on the side. And wine; plenty of wine…

Enjoy the (Frozen Lack of) Heat!

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