Friday Follies: Oh, You Wanted the Mayo On the Side, Eh?

Some small reports are just too, well, slick to pass up…

A recent crash of a semi-trailer rig built the world’s largest (temporary) Slip ‘N Slide on a small portion of Interstate 44 near Springfield, MO. The truck was carrying mayonnaise. About twenty tons of the tasty condiment, to be exact.

I wonder: Is mayo considered a hazardous substance in quantities that large? Not just the mechanical lubrication; that’s bad enough, I’m sure. But all that oil, eggs and stuff. And how do you get that much of the goo off of asphalt? They’re both oil-based, and so they like each other than they like, say, water. So simply washing it off is a big chore, I bet.

Missouri’s favorite son summed it up well, more than a century before this accident: “Too much of anything is bad… (but too much of good whiskey is barely enough).” And one could argue that 40,000 pounds of is way too much of a good thing. Gives a whole new meaning to “slick as snot on a doorknob.”

Perhaps they held a big fish fry and turned most of it into tartar sauce or something? Branson’s nearby, there’s plenty of fish. And with the weather cold and all, I doubt it spoils quickly. (I’m guessing.)

I have relatives near the scene of this accident, but no reports on whether they took advantage of the slippery surface to completely screw up their backs helped with the cleanup and had some fun…

Enjoy the (Edible Asphalt Coating) Heat!