Friday Follies: Eating Like a Monk During Lent

Living like a monk. It’s an old stereotype, a cliché. Sackcloth and ashes, dry bread and bad water. Lots of meditating while digging weeds out of the garden. The occasional beer. Unless you’re like Friar Tuck.

Lenten traditions about eating and drinking may bring the stereotype to mind, especially to those who don’t know the traditions. Truth is, the whole thing isn’t that bad. No, really. Trust me.

And if you do think it’s terrible, then here’s a novel way out. A man in Adams County, Iowa has decided to eat like a monk during this Lent. He’s gone back to a very old tradition, when some monks abstained from solid food for the whole season, all 46 days.

He’s going to scrape by on beer.

Not just any beer, but “liquid bread.” Doppelbock, to be precise; “Double Bock.” Now, I’ve had Bock style beers that you almost had to chew, they were so solid. A good Double Bock is even better, and trust me, it’s not one of those wimpy, watered-down, no-calories-here modern beers that the ads all entice you to drink. No, calories won’t be an issue.

If you think about it, though, this is still an amazing hardship. Where’s the chips and salsa? The pretzels, the sausage, the sardines and crackers? Man, he’s really gone way overboard on this thing, if you ask me. At least he’ll have four healthy portions of brew a day. And all the water he needs. (He’s bought a couple of minis, I hear; should be plenty.)

So what’s your guess: Is he going to make it? Will he lose or gain weight? Will he ever return to solid food again? Inquiring minds want to know!

Enjoy the (Liquid Lenten Lunches) Heat!