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Friday Follies: O No, You Got a Spork in the Salad Shooter!

This entry is part of a series, Follies 2011»

Salad Tools

There have been many great inventions that help us prepare and enjoy food and drink. My personal choices include the wok, long chopsticks, charcoal (and the fire to go with it), microwave oven, convection oven, refrigerator (and freezer), cast-iron skillets, and the tin can. Shoot, some of these have extra duties around the house: Wok for oil changes, chopsticks for knitting sweaters, cast iron skillets for a spouse to express her dislike of your late-night outings. (I’m speaking hypothetically on that last one.)

There are lists of recent cool gadgets, some of which may have staying power. There are also lists of the fundamental tools and appliances, and I’m sure you can come up with your own in short order. (Get it? Short Order? I still crack me up.)

What you probably don’t have is a complete list of the ten food and drink inventions we never needed in the first place.

Well, the ever-vigilant and hardworking (don’t forget, hardworking) elves here your favorite place for food news, the Chile Underground, have got you covered. Here’s the top ten list, complete with pictures, so you don’t have to make your own!

The spork would certainly make my list. I’m not that against the wine bottle stoppers. And yes, I own a Salad Shooter. Used it this week, in fact. Sure sped up making a mountain of cole slaw.

What I want to know is, if the quesadilla maker’s on the list, then why isn’t the gizmo for making sliders on your grill? If the poacher’s gotta go, then so do the Egg Genie and the EZ Egg Cracker (not to mention the Electric Egg Scrambler). And do we really need a collapsible pie cutter? (What’s a collapsible pie, anyways?)

Some of the items we include in the “don’t need” pile include those hand-crank egg beaters. This one’s actually in the “good idea, for its time, but bad execution” category. Only a really good one has a chance. Or what about rolling pin spacer rings? What’s wrong with rubber bands, if you really need something? (How exact do these things really need to be?)

Finally, our choices simply have to include the NANA Saver Banana Holder. Who ever wants to save half a banana? Talk about excessively anal-retentive detail-oriented…

Enjoy the (Gadjet Madness) Heat!

Entries in this series:
  1. Friday Follies: Weirdest Snacks, Dumb (and Hungry) Burglars, and Why Google is Like Bananas
  2. Friday Follies: Cakes That Make You Laugh (Maybe), and Which Food Best Represents Your State
  3. Friday Follies: Green Bugs to Replace Red Meat On Your Plate?
  4. Friday Follies: How to Pour a Beer Every Second (Almost)
  5. How Beer Saved the World (and, You Heard It Here First!)
  6. Friday Follies: Become a Professional Beer Expert (And You Thought All You Had to Do Was Drink)
  7. What's for Dinner Gets Automated, In a Weird Sort of Way
  8. Follies Extra: Is That a Chile Pepper On Your Plate, or Are You Just Happy to See Me?
  9. Friday Follies: Oh, You Wanted the Mayo On the Side, Eh?
  10. Friday Follies: Eating Like a Monk During Lent
  11. Friday Follies: O No, You Got a Spork in the Salad Shooter!
  12. Friday Follies: Food Network Now Wants to Play Ball
  13. Friday Follies: Chile Underground Voted Number One Food Blog
  14. Friday Follies: Beer, It's What's for Breakfast
  15. Friday Follies: The End of the World is Nigh, and Bacon is to Blame
  16. Virtual Reality Gives “Cookie Monster” a Whole New Meaning
  17. Friday Follies: Do-It-Yourself Egg Art, and That’s No Yolk
  18. Burger Follies: A Fight Over Killer Burgers, In-N-Out in Texas, and Burger America Goes Second Edition
  19. Friday Follies: Once I Saw These, I Didn’t Stand a Ghost of a Chance…
  20. Friday Follies: Peppers Help Preggers to Pop
  21. Follies: Barbeque That Goes Where You Go, All Day Long
  22. Follies: How to Carry Your Liquor, and Don’t Do’s at the Bar
  23. Going to China for the Aquatics Championships? Don’t Eat the Pork…
  24. Zesty Chili Doesn’t Make Lingerie More Exciting for One Woman
  25. Follies: Edible Clay, Eu de Play-Doh, and a Website You Can’t Live Without
  26. Important News Concerning Two Essential Food Groups: Beer and Hamburgers
  27. Follies Extra: A Multitude of Uses for Beer (Besides Drinking)
  28. Chocolate’s Better’n Carrots, But Is Miracle Whip Really Good for Your Love Life?
  29. Who Says Lutherans Don’t Know How to Party? Watch This…
  30. There’s Something Big Stirring at UMass…
  31. Salsa Proves Too Hot for Owner; He’s Smoked…
  32. Would You Like Some Al Yankovic With That Veal Cordon Bleu? And Other Food-Music News
  33. A Salmagundi of Savory Silliness
  34. Doritos Situation Grave, and (Lust for) Alcohol Makes You Stupid
  35. “A Bear Walked Into a Grocery…” And It’s No Joke…
  36. French Ban Ketchup? This Means War! Again…
  37. Armadillo as Weapon, Bar Fun With Guns, and Another Humongous Burger
  38. Pizza as Vegetable? Okay; Why Not Chocolate, or Cheez Whiz, or Kool Whip, or …
  39. A Meal That Makes You Glad You Have Leftovers From Thanksgiving
  40. Why This May Be the Last Christmas Ever
  41. If You’re Going Out Into the Snow, Take Your Beer Along (Lots of It)
  42. No Eat Strong Pig, Eat Monster Gummy Bear Instead
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