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Follies: How to Carry Your Liquor, and Don’t Do’s at the Bar

This entry is part of a series, Follies 2011»

Traveling Beer

Some people just don’t know how to handle their liquor. Well, if you’re one of those (I’m not saying, I’m just saying), then the Elves here in the Department of Important Finds have really found something just for you.

Luggage. For your brew, fruit o’ the vine, or harder stuff.

We’ve already posted before on the Wine Rack, which is still popular with the ladies who wish to be doubly endowed. But wait, there’s more! How about a small flask with a cross-section that looks like an old-fashioned mustache? (Why, I haven’t a clew.) It’s a real conversation starter under certain circumstances.

Or maybe you’re more the disposable flask sort of person? Have we got a deal for you! A tough plastic pouch that you’d much rather lose than your heirloom, monogrammed silver hip flask. (You DO have an heirloom, monogrammed silver hip flask, yes? YES??)

There are several other nice options, including the Burton Liquid Lounger, a camera-flask for the spy who enjoys a little tipple while on a stakeout, and the classic Stanley thermos. All work very well. Consider buying several, so you have all your travel options covered.

While a nice hip flask may be a conversation-starter at the bar, there are lots of things that aren’t so welcome there. A recent Gawker article details a few. While that post is more of a personal rant, there’s way too much truth in most of it. Like, why would you bring your baby there? And what’s the attraction of Beer Pong, exactly? (Like you need help to get stonkered.) And why, oh why, does anybody still ride that bull? In fact, why do they still have it? Don’t they know that Travolta sold the hat, and can’t do that anymore since he broke his shoulder?

About the only quibble I have is with their objection to dancing on top of things. If you prohibit that, then how will a redneck ever pick up somebody? Shoot, that might even make rednecks extinct…

Enjoy the (Liquor Goes With Dumb Stuff) Heat!

Entries in this series:
  1. Friday Follies: Weirdest Snacks, Dumb (and Hungry) Burglars, and Why Google is Like Bananas
  2. Friday Follies: Cakes That Make You Laugh (Maybe), and Which Food Best Represents Your State
  3. Friday Follies: Green Bugs to Replace Red Meat On Your Plate?
  4. Friday Follies: How to Pour a Beer Every Second (Almost)
  5. How Beer Saved the World (and, You Heard It Here First!)
  6. Friday Follies: Become a Professional Beer Expert (And You Thought All You Had to Do Was Drink)
  7. What's for Dinner Gets Automated, In a Weird Sort of Way
  8. Follies Extra: Is That a Chile Pepper On Your Plate, or Are You Just Happy to See Me?
  9. Friday Follies: Oh, You Wanted the Mayo On the Side, Eh?
  10. Friday Follies: Eating Like a Monk During Lent
  11. Friday Follies: O No, You Got a Spork in the Salad Shooter!
  12. Friday Follies: Food Network Now Wants to Play Ball
  13. Friday Follies: Chile Underground Voted Number One Food Blog
  14. Friday Follies: Beer, It's What's for Breakfast
  15. Friday Follies: The End of the World is Nigh, and Bacon is to Blame
  16. Virtual Reality Gives “Cookie Monster” a Whole New Meaning
  17. Friday Follies: Do-It-Yourself Egg Art, and That’s No Yolk
  18. Burger Follies: A Fight Over Killer Burgers, In-N-Out in Texas, and Burger America Goes Second Edition
  19. Friday Follies: Once I Saw These, I Didn’t Stand a Ghost of a Chance…
  20. Friday Follies: Peppers Help Preggers to Pop
  21. Follies: Barbeque That Goes Where You Go, All Day Long
  22. Follies: How to Carry Your Liquor, and Don’t Do’s at the Bar
  23. Going to China for the Aquatics Championships? Don’t Eat the Pork…
  24. Zesty Chili Doesn’t Make Lingerie More Exciting for One Woman
  25. Follies: Edible Clay, Eu de Play-Doh, and a Website You Can’t Live Without
  26. Important News Concerning Two Essential Food Groups: Beer and Hamburgers
  27. Follies Extra: A Multitude of Uses for Beer (Besides Drinking)
  28. Chocolate’s Better’n Carrots, But Is Miracle Whip Really Good for Your Love Life?
  29. Who Says Lutherans Don’t Know How to Party? Watch This…
  30. There’s Something Big Stirring at UMass…
  31. Salsa Proves Too Hot for Owner; He’s Smoked…
  32. Would You Like Some Al Yankovic With That Veal Cordon Bleu? And Other Food-Music News
  33. A Salmagundi of Savory Silliness
  34. Doritos Situation Grave, and (Lust for) Alcohol Makes You Stupid
  35. “A Bear Walked Into a Grocery…” And It’s No Joke…
  36. French Ban Ketchup? This Means War! Again…
  37. Armadillo as Weapon, Bar Fun With Guns, and Another Humongous Burger
  38. Pizza as Vegetable? Okay; Why Not Chocolate, or Cheez Whiz, or Kool Whip, or …
  39. A Meal That Makes You Glad You Have Leftovers From Thanksgiving
  40. Why This May Be the Last Christmas Ever
  41. If You’re Going Out Into the Snow, Take Your Beer Along (Lots of It)
  42. No Eat Strong Pig, Eat Monster Gummy Bear Instead
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