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Whogoosed the Moose Falls Off Wagon, but Not Out of Tree

Sleepy Moose

If you made this stuff up, nobody would believe you…

Seems the squirrels in Sweden have some hefty competition this time of year. Not GOOD competition, mind you. At least not good at climbing trees. However, the squirrels have little to worry about, as moose (what’s the plural? Meese?) don’t seem to be able to get down once they’re up a tree.

Rescue workers had to remove limbs from an apple tree (basically destroying it) to free a young, drunk moose who had managed to get stuck there. Why was he there, you ask? I might respond with the trenchant observation that he was young and drunk, and leave it at that. However, you might then ask, how did the moose get drunk in the first place?

The apples, of course.

If left to their own devices, apples will ferment nicely once ripened. Most of said apples will be on the ground, where a moose (or any other grazing quadruped) can Hoover up their fill of tasty (and intoxicating) fruit. This leads to drunken deer and moose, a common problem in Sweden.

Apparently this one yoongster decided that, with all the apples on the ground gone, he’d go for whatever was left up the tree. (Or maybe he wanted a younger vintage?) And he soon found himself up that very same tree. Without a ladder. Which doesn’t matter, as he was likely too drunk to climb down a ladder anyways, and besides, he was alone; who’d hold the ladder while he exited the tree? Doesn’t Sweden have rules about that sort of thing?

But I digress.

The folks who found this distressed swamp donkey tried to help, but who wants to get next to an agitated, drunk animal weighing upwards of a thousand pounds (even this young), thrashing around in a tree? After the initial falling-down laughing amusement, I bet they had to give the situation some serious thought. Apparently, though, everything turned out okay in the end, and the moose was returned to his preferred four-on-the-floor configuration. No injuries were reported amongst the rescuers either. So everybody take a bough! (Get it? Damn, I’m quick this morning.)

My dad always said to stay out of trees; now I know why…

If You Can’t Stand the Heat, Don’t Climb a Tree (with a Moose) …


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