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Today is National “Talk Like a Pirate” Day; Prepare to Be Boarded…

Skull

Yep, it’s that time again; time to “Arrgh!” with the best of’em. And I’ll brook ye no arrrghuments, ye hear? So get out there and shake your booty talk like the pirate ye arrr!

To get in the mood, ye can plan a Parrrty where you show all four of the “Pirates of the Caribbean” movies. (Yes, it’ll be a long night that way; deal with it.) Or you can tell some of your favorite pirate jokes. You do have favorite pirate jokes, yes? If no, here’s some starters:

Q: How does a True Pirate pay for his rum at the bar?

A: With bar-nickels.

Yep, that’s as good as it gets.  Here’s another:

Q: What does a pirate put on his peanut butter sandwich?

A: Jelly fish, of course.

What, like you didn’t see that one coming? Catch up, man, or we’ll have to keelhaul ye.

Q: What’s a Modern Pirate’s favorite social network?

A: Twittarrrr…

Okay, that was almost lame. (Almost.) Here’s a much better one:

Q: What do True Pirates put on their salad?

A: Arrrrrrrrrugula.

Yep; much better. Because I thought it up me ownself.  Or this one:

Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite fruit?

A: Peaches of eight…

Jolly Roger

Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite mixed drink?

A: A Marrrrrrrtini…

A pirate walks into a bar. (Yes, gotta have a pirate-bar joke; it’s traditional. You don’t want to mess with tradition, do you?) He’s got a paper towel tied around his head. The bartender asks, “What’s with the paper towel?” The pirate replies, “Arrrh! I got a Bounty on me head!”

Q: What do you call a pirate who steals from the rich and gives to the poor?

A: Robin Hook…

If you’re looking for someone to blame for this madness the origination of this loverly tradition, you have to look no further than Dave Barry. Okay, he claims he stole got the idea from but why let a little thing like that keep him from pillaging the idea?

My darling spouse, PJ, will be doing her part his evening. She’s going to water arrrobics class, you see. I’ll be there, swimming laps with my sharrrrk fin on…

Enjoy the (Come As You Arrrrgh Party) Heat!

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