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Chile Underground Wins MegaMillions; Declares Three-Year Hiatus…

Lottery

The recent Megamillions mania is over. Unfortunately, there were two other winning tickets besides the one held by the Chile Underground. Fortunately, splitting a jackpot of that size into thirds still leaves a perfectly sane and sensible mound of petty cash. In fact, taking the single-payout option and paying the Feds their extortion quota still leaves the tidy sum of $120,375,000 or so. (I’d give you the exact figures, but why quibble over trifles.)

So, with this richly-deserved windfall slight bits of money in hand, we’re off to see the world. And maybe buy a retirement place or two. Like, say, Bali. I’m sure the search will take us a year or more, so don’t be surprised if you don’t hear from us for a while. Oh, if I can get a good Internet connection from the cruise ship I may deign to update the unwashed masses drop you all a note, just so you won’t worry.

What about the garden, you say? Well, that’s what minions are for. And cash buys lots of willing minions. Who, given that we’re now flush, can afford their own lackeys.

How will you get your favorite new zesty recipes? What about the pepper jelly chronicles? Sorry, I can’t be bothered with such trivialities think there will be little forthcoming for a while. Until I am settled in Bali, that is. Or do you think Bora Bora would be better? No matter; maybe I’ll just buy both.

We here at the CU hope you’ve had a safe and zap-free April Fool’s Day. And may all your lottery numbers be winners…

Enjoy the (April Nonsense) Heat!

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