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Having Trouble Keeping Birds Out of Your Tomato Patch?

Roast Duck

Harvest BirdsAre avian-type creatures attacking your flavorful orbs of loveliness? Robin you of your hard-earned produce? It’s a fowl thing they do, the dastards, but they’re raven-ous for red fruit this time of year.

Have we got a solution for you! We’ve hatched a new scheme to keep those pesky flying thingies away. (It was quite a birden, I’ll tell you, but we kept a possidove outlook until we solved it.)

First off, quit winging it. You need a method, a worked-out tweetment. And we’ve got it. Here’s what you do:

See if you can sparrow a few items from the Christmas decorations. Some nice, red ornaments, preferably plastic. And round. Hang them strategically from your tomato cages or plants. The birds swoop in to stab your lovely fauxmatoes, and they get nothing but a bent beak for their effort. They’ll try and try, then get frustrated and leave. Guess what: you just sent them all down the street for a cup of their favorite coffee, Nest-Café. More importantly, you trained them to believe your garden has nothing for them.


Mylar ribbons have a similar effect. Get some at a party store; a big bag costs about a buck or two. You tie some strands on the cages and for some reason, the flickering, multicolored light scares the birdies away. (I must admit, though, this one’s not quite as effective as the first method.)

If you don’t use these techniques, you’ll egret it forever. With them you can exact tweet revenge. And keep all the home-garden tomato goodness for yourself! (Okay, you can share, if you really have to.)

Finally, a bird joke. What do you get when you cross a parrot with a centipede? A great walkie-talkie…

Enjoy the (Peck-Free Tomatoes) Heat!


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