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Old News Is Sometimes Good News: Beer, Whiskey & Pork Fat are Good for You

Pigs and Beer

I’ve been sitting on this one for a while now because I didn’t want to be the reason the country exploded into uncontrollable riots. However, it all seems to be true, so I can reveal the news far and wide: Beer, whiskey and pork fat are now health foods! Says so right here. (Hey, it’s on the Internet; it must be true, right?)

EisbeinWhat’s the big deal? You already knew all this, right? Well, let’s recap for those who are new to the game…

Beer helps you solve problems. Not only in the way Homer Simpson claims, either. No, people who have had a few beers are better at solving brainteasers. Research at the University of Illinois proves it. Indeed, drinkers solved more puzzles, and faster too.

Whiskey boosts good cholesterol. This is according to the Mayo Clinic. (If you think the Mayo Clinic is about how to make a better burger, you may be a redneck.) One good stiff drink a day increases your HDL cholesterol (the better kind) and potentially decreases your risk of a stroke. Drinking in moderation is the key, apparently. (Sorry, Tom; more isn’t better for your blood chemistry. But don’t let that stop you.)

Pork fat fights bad cholesterol, according to the James Beard Award-winning chef, Jennifer McLagan. Yep, the stuff’s actually good for you! So our fat phobia’s not only endangering our pleasure at breakfast, it’s not helping our heart. Yes, it’s a conspiracy of media, government and industry to keep you away from bacon cheeseburgers. Something along the lines of Roswell, JFK and the moon landings, all rolled into one. Scary, eh? But I digress.

As a bonus for you because you managed to read this far without falling asleep: Popcorn is higher in antioxidants than some fruits and vegetables. This finding courtesy of research at the University of Scranton. (They have a U? Whodathunk?) Polyphenols in the husks are associated with cancer prevention. Just go light on the butter and salt. Bacon grease, though; you can have more of that on your jumbo tub of popped kernels. And a boilermaker on the side.

Bacon and Beer

With the Fourth of July just around the corner, you can now swig, swill and savor the Good Stuff to your heart’s content if not its longevity with minimal guilt! Not that you ever let a little thing like shame keep you away from the adult beverages and the bacon…

Enjoy the (New Order in Healthy Foods) Heat!

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