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The Usual Hot Dog Follies, With a Twist (It Has a Nice Ring to It)

BigDawg

It’s Fourth of July, and guess what? Nathan’s held a hot dog eating contest! Again! No, really; I’m not kidding…

Joey Chestnut, aka “Jaws,” put away the competition again too. He never looked like he was threatening to beat last year’s record of 69 dogs and buns (his own record, of course), but he was quick out of the gate and nobody could catch him. He put down 61 this year, beating second place Matt Stonie by a full five dawgs.

Before downing the competition, though, he had a solemn chore to perform, which he got down on one knee to complete. He asked his long-time girlfriend, and fellow extreme eating enthusiast, to marry him. Neslie Ricasa said yes, and Joey took the emotional high from that into the serious business of capturing the Nathan’s crown once more. After all, he didn’t was to lose after that, did he?

Sonya “Black Widow” Thomas wasn’t on her best game, it seems, and ceded her crown to Miki Sudo. The ladies are much more petite eaters; it only took 34 dogs and buns to win, by 6½. There’s always next year, Sonya. And America loves a good comeback story, so train hard! I’m sure Nathan’s will host this event again next year, same bat time, same bat channel.

In case you’re wondering what does one feel like after consuming 60+ hot dogs in 10 minutes? Consider this: The mass and volume of meat, bread and water is surprisingly similar to that of a full-term baby, if the baby’s on the large size. In other words, Joey got engaged, pregnant AND went to full term on the Fourth of July! All in the space of about 15 minutes.

Only in a free America, I tell you…

The (Extra-Full Tummy) Heat is ON!

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