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National Junk Food Day; What Did You Eat?

Salt. Fat. Calories. Yum!!

This is a “holiday” I can really get into. I woke up hungry for junk, too. Something that would blow my diet into the next zip code. Not comfort food, like those little cocktail weenies wrapped in croissant dough and baked. No, I wanted something with salt, fat, calories and way too much flavor.

What I got was coffee with non-fat creamer. And stevia. Talk about a let-down.

I must have looked ravenous as I opened my email for the morning run-through. Spookums, the small tuxedo cat who spends most of her life pretending to be an ornament on my desk, decided that retreat was the better part of valor, or at least of not being eaten by a big, scowling ape. She disappeared for several hours.

Good thing, too, I was considering getting out the deep fryer. But I digress.

The whole morning, and into the early afternoon as work dragged on, I listened to my tummy rumble. Then I pulled off my headphones, shut down the browser, and went scrounging.

First up, chips and salsa. Not exactly junk, you understand; more like one of the four basic food groups in my life. Then a Kind Bar. (Then another.) Some peanuts and chocolate. (Oh wait, chocolate’s never junk food. Scratch that.) Some not-quite-stale pretzel sticks. At least there was plenty of salt in the bottom of the bag. Then a Totino’s Party Pizza, extra pepperoni. I’m sure that gave me at least 400% of the daily allowance for preservatives, not to mention cardboard. All washed down with a pineapple soda. The last one in the fridge.

For dessert I had a hot dog with Sriracha Mayo and extra pickle slices. And some chips made from adzuki beans. (Talk about junk! Whattheheckis an adzuki anyway?)

After that I felt much better. Well, not better, exactly. Okay, I can’t lie; I felt bad. Like I’d just eaten three meals of junk food. Perfect…

Enjoy the (Tasty, Junky) Heat!


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