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Friday Follies: Eat Together, Cheat Together


I’m telling you, you can’t make this stuff up . All you can do is report it, and we here at the Chile Underground work our widdle piddies to the bone to find stuff you just can’t find anywhere else…

I’m not sure that a $50 billion loss is very funny. However, if you can’t find even a bit of humor amongst all the woe, then it’s time for the pine box and the preacher.

Dig deep enough, you’ll always find something.

Bernie Madoff (pronounced “made-off,” as in stolen) has executed a scheme for the ages. Even Kevin Bacon (of Six Degrees fame; a great foodie name too) got taken to the cleaners by the former SEC chairman. To prove that those who pull off the biggest scams get the best prison stays, Bernie gets to live under house arrest in his Manhattan penthouse as the government slowly digs out the details of his crimes.

But what of his wife, Ruthie? Is she innocent?

Maybe she didn’t have anything to do with the money side of things, but she isn’t beyond petty thievery of sorts. According to a recent post at Slashfood, Ruth and a friend “stole” authorship of a cookbook back in 1996: “Great Chefs of America Cook Kosher.” She did no research or writing on this volume. Just got her name on it. Connections really do matter, I suppose.

Somewhere, Charles Ponzi is smiling….

Enjoy the (Kosher Hustle) Heat!

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Hot Bytes for 2009-01-21

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Hot Bytes for 2009-01-19

  • Unfortunately, “Austin” Brand Name Taking a Big Hit on Salmonella Scare: http://tinyurl.com/7hfs8t. Can’t win’em all… #
  • Soon, the 2nd Annual Blue Ribbon Bacon Festival: http://blueribbonbaconfestival.com/ #
  • How to Wrap Your Arm in Bacon:http://www.mcphee.com/items/11925.html. Really, you need at least two… #

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Crunchy, Crazy Crick-Ettes


If you like your snacks crunchy, and you want to do something for the environment as well, here’s your chance! Lock your lips around some of these tasty morsels and munch to your heart’s content, knowing full well you’re doing something great for others by taking these little monsters off the farms and streets of the world.

And they come in such delicious flavors! Surely you’ve already picked out a favorite. (I’m going with bacon; everything tastes better with bacon!) Get yours here while they’re still available…

Enjoy the (Healthy Snack Hoppers) Heat!

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Friday Follies: Bacon Explosion Arrives In Time to Explode Your Diet

Bacon Explosion

From bbqaddicts.com, With Love

What is the mysterious food pictured above? Completing bacon’s meteoric descent (why do they always say “meteoric rise” ? Meteors don’t rise…) over the horizon of good taste, I present to you: the Bacon Explosion.

Take two pounds each of thick-sliced bacon and Italian sausage. (We recommend spicy, although the Underground staff denies ever repeatedly trying tasting this dish. No comment. Pass the napkins, please.) Add a jar of your favorite (zesty!) barbeque sauce and several ounces of homemade rub and you’ve got everything you need.

Big enough to feed a hungry horde, satisfying as a dinner for two, the Bacon Explosion is a truly versatile American concoction. The site gives detailed instructions with photos so you can get a head start on that bypass surgery drool as you prepare your very own.

Now that’s a heart attack just waiting to happen. No, actually I don’t think this one is waiting at all…

Enjoy the (Bacon Sausage Angioplasty) Heat!

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F4F: Trout Underground Challenge Accepted!

Speckled Trout

Our fishy imitator obscure piffling antagonist little brother Underground of the Trout variety recently offered a challenge to the best Underground site this side of Gilleland Creek.

In short, and I quote: “… you might want to brush up on your seafood recipes.”

Well, the brush is out. And the grill. And the world’s largest pile of seafood recipes! We accept the challenge…

This week’s opening salvo recipe works with almost any good-quality, mild-flavored fish fillet, like, say, trout:

Cuba may not be our friend these days, but there are a large number of folks who enjoy Cuban style food. Including me! Sofrito is a special salsa, found in lots of Latin dishes, and is especially known with Cuban dishes.

Of course, “sofrito” is a generic label; there are sofritos, and then there are sofritos. This one is made fresh, with quality vegetables, the salty goodness of capers, and plenty of spices. You can add more chiles if you want a Really Zesty version, or skip the spicy peppers if you want a mild version. Like, say, to feed your two-year-old, or a gaggle of hungry wimps trout anglers….

Enjoy the (Cuban Tasty) Heat!

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Pace Gets Packing With New Salsas


Remember those great commercials where the cowboys (no, not THOSE Cowboys) are thinking about stringing up Cookie for feeding them salsa made in New York City? Those ads made Pace a household name outside of Texas. (They already were standard fare inside Texas, of course.)

Pace has moved on from those halcyon days. They now make a great line of jar salsas with lots of different flavors. They’re not the same ol’ recipe with different doses of spices; oh, no. These salsas are purpose-built to tingle your tongue with bold flavors from smoked paprika to mango and tequila.

I use them on everyday dishes, like eggs in the morning, or migas at mid-morning snack, or enchiladas at lunch, or just for dipping at high tea afternoon break. You get the picture. Oh, and I use the spicier ones on tamales and burritos and stuff like that, at dinnertime.

In the interest of full disclosure, I don’t own any Pace stock. Yet…

Enjoy the (Get a Rope) Heat!

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The Perfect Diet Food

Lindt Chocolate

We here at the Underground are working hard for you! We’ve found the perfect diet food: Lindt Excellence Chili Chocolate.

Well, it’s perfect, as long as you don’t eat much of it. Fortunately, because it has a nice chile kick, you don’t need much. (Take it from a pro, consuming a whole 3.5 oz bar in one go is definitely a diet “don’t do.”)

So put this item on a shelf and admire. Include it in the only diet that works:

“If It Tastes Good, Spit It Out.”

Chilis or Chocolate? What a Question...

And above all, remember how we’re here for you in your darkest dieting hour…

Enjoy the (Diet Chocolate) Heat!

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