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Seems the Only Brains Around Were All Frozen…

A trio of Sudanese travelers had a big plan. However, they forgot just one thing: They need to have more brains than the Egyptian customs officers they had to fool for their plan to work. Which, it turns out, was true, sort of; just not in a functional way…

The three men were attempting to smuggle [...]

How Many Tons of Tuna Salad Is That, Exactly?

This entry is part of a series, Follies 2012»

Everyone knows that sharks are a top predator in the world’s oceans. Even humans don’t fare well, mano-á-sharko. But there’s another great predator of the seas: The Bluefin Tuna. These fish live mostly in the deep water. They’re fast swimmers; they’re ideally evolved for swimming long [...]

The End of Civilization: No More Twinkies??

This entry is part of a series, Follies 2012»

Imagine a world without Ho Hos. Ding Dongs. CupCakes, Donettes, all gone. No more Sno Balls, Suzy Q’s or Zingers. And most depressing, no Twinkies.

Pretty scary, isn’t it.

Well, it may happen. Hostess Brands, who makes all of those popular snacks and more, is filing for Chapter [...]

No Eat Strong Pig, Eat Monster Gummy Bear Instead

This entry is part of a series, Follies 2011»

A Chinese pig named (cleverly) Strong Pig is going to live a long and happy life somewhere, rather than being served on someone’s plate. This pig is unusual; remarkable, even. He was born without hind legs. Light in the hams, you might say. Which isn’t [...]

If You’re Going Out Into the Snow, Take Your Beer Along (Lots of It)

This entry is part of a series, Follies 2011»

A recent note in the Anchorage Daily News is a clarion call for all you Real Men who plan on spending any time in snowy climes this winter: Take your beer along! Clifton Vial of Nome found himself in a dangerous, almost certainly deadly, parlous [...]

Why This May Be the Last Christmas Ever

This entry is part of a series, Follies 2011»

Some items you see, you just know they signal the impending doom of the universe. Our most recent sighting, here at the Chile Underground, involves toast. But not just any toast: Oh no, we’re talking truly, uhh, divine cauterized crusts…

Me thinks you seem skeptical. Well [...]

A Meal That Makes You Glad You Have Leftovers From Thanksgiving

This entry is part of a series, Follies 2011»

I hope you had a great Thanksgiving, and that you’re now trying to figure out what to do with the leftovers. Well, maybe this will sharpen your appetite for a Dagwood sandwich of turkey, ham, dressing, cranberry sauce and gravy…

A freshman at the University of [...]

Pizza as Vegetable? Okay; Why Not Chocolate, or Cheez Whiz, or Kool Whip, or …

This entry is part of a series, Follies 2011»

The Congress is at it again. They want to be able to count pizza and French fries as vegetables on school lunch menus. Well, even that’s not entirely true; it’s the tomato sauce on the pizza that would count.  (Everybody knows that no self-respecting kid, [...]