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The Venerable Hamburger In the News: Moving Beyond Simple Fast Food

Since its “invention” the lowly hamburger has grown to be perhaps the most popular sandwich on the globe. Okay, so maybe the burger didn’t get invented so much as it evolved with the times. In any case, there’s still a bit of a controversy over who invented this tasty sandwich (and when). Does it really […]

Armadillo as Weapon, Bar Fun With Guns, and Another Humongous Burger

This entry is part of a series, Follies 2011»

Arguably, it’s about food. Or at least what somebody thought was good enough to eat…

A woman from the Dallas area was assaulted by a man. Common story, right? Well, hold on, now. It gets better. Seems the man was selling a frozen armadillo to the […]

Important News Concerning Two Essential Food Groups: Beer and Hamburgers

This entry is part of a series, Follies 2011»

Beer and hamburgers go together like apple pie and sharp Cheddar. Like pork and beans. Like Cheech and Chong. (Well, okay; maybe a borderline choice there.) Like bacon and eggs and syrup and pancakes. Like Burns and Allen. You get the picture.

That’s what makes today’s […]

The Summer of Grilling Continues: Hamburgers, Onions, Pineapple

The weekends were made for grilling, of course. Every Real Man knows that. Now that my package of replacement grill parts arrived Saturday morning, I’m set to produce some Industrial Strength cookout goodies! First, though, I

The denizens of the Ranch were working on fence a lot in the morning, so they didn’t feel like […]

Monday Blues Report: Hurricane Watching From Near the Grill

The weather reports this morning look fairly grim for the Texas-Mexico coast. Alex could be a major hurricane at landfall, which now appears most likely in northern Mexico near Brownsville sometime early Thursday. Given the area coverage of the rain from this cyclone, we should get Very Wet in the coming few days. In […]

Here Comes Alex! Better Get Some Grilling Done This Week...

Tropical Storm Alex, the first of the 2010 Atlantic season, is churning its way across the Yucatan Peninsula today. Everybody knows what that means, right? Yep, you got it in one: Time to Grill!

Texans need excuses to grill, you see. And impending wind and rain sounds like a good enough excuse to me! I’m […]

This Just In: Burger King Promos Signal End of Civilization As We Know It

Two recent Burger King promotions are clear portents of dire events ahead, maybe even the end of Western Civilization. Surely they’re more indicative of disastrous circumstances than more widely known and followed barometers of doom, such as the teachings of Nostradamus, the rise of global warming or the failure of Tom Delay on Dancing […]

Friday Follies: Where's the Beef? Right Here

In 2008, Mallie’s Sports Grill & Bar set the Guinness Record for the world’s largest hamburger. Well, I’m sorry to say, that’s been whipped like a red-headed stepchild summarily dismissed this year. The old number of 134 pounds was summarily squashed by the new monster, weighing in at an astounding 164.5 pounds.

Steve Mallie’s not […]